July 1, 2013
In the afterword of this intense memoir, Hjalmarsson writes, “I could keep writing this book until both Lina and I are walking around with canes, without teeth or memory,” and the reader believes her. The obsessive documentation of her daughter Lina’s sudden decline into autism and her quest for successful treatments make it clear that there is no day off for a parent of a child with disabilities as severe as Lina’s. Hjalmarsson’s passion for her daughter’s cause is both impressive and daunting, and her occasional lapse into blaming doctors, strangers on the street, or places—Rhode Island fails to suit her needs, and she mourns “leaving the civilization of New York City”—can be off-putting, until readers remember her predicament. For any parent, the sense of there-but-for-the-grace-of-God is strong when confronted with stories of children succumbing to unexplainable illness, and Hjalmarsson earns the reader’s sympathy with repeated tales from an impossibly hard daily life. Undaunted, the author follows traditional Western and more holistic paths in an attempt to find a cure; she certainly has much to teach about her medical and therapeutic trials, but her biggest lesson is helpful for all parents: we must not “get so ambitious in our quest to cure what we consider unacceptable that we forget to listen and be present.”
July 15, 2013
The story of a mother's transformation in learning to care for her special needs daughter. At age 3, Hjalmarsson's (co-editor: The Quotable Book Lover, 1999) daughter, Lina, experienced seizures, became unresponsive and lost her speech. As Lina got increasingly difficult and destructive--screaming, biting, throwing tantrums and running from the house--Hjalmarsson tried a variety of techniques to help her daughter. She moved from the city to the suburbs and back again, tried out numerous schools and caregivers, and put Lina on special diets and medications, both traditional and alternative. While many of these attempts seemed to help Lina for a time, she invariably regressed. As a psychoanalyst, Hjalmarsson was perhaps more aware than many parents of the theories surrounding autism treatments, and she brings this knowledge to the book, offering detailed descriptions of each therapy and the ensuing results. But the book is more about the author herself and how she managed the difficulties of raising such a challenging child. Her marriage fell apart (although she and her husband remain close friends), and she was, fortunately, able to work part-time in order to dedicate her life almost exclusively to caring for Lina. One of the more interesting passages is a description of Hjalmarsson hiding from her daughter in the basement and then dashing into the yard in a desperate attempt to escape her. It's a powerful sequence, showing the extreme challenges of living with an autistic child, and more such scenes would add depth the memoir. At times, the level of detail, including descriptions of playtimes and the names of just about everyone Lina has encountered in her eight years, becomes tedious. But the author's positive, optimistic attitude and her thorough descriptions of therapies will be helpful to the parents and caretakers of autistic children.
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September 1, 2013
In this honest memoir, Hjalmarsson (a psychoanalyst with a master's degree in child development) conveys the frustrations and the triumphs of raising an autistic daughter. She also explains how a special-needs kid affects the rest of the familyin her case, her younger girl and her now ex-husband, Skyhorse publisher Tony Lyons. Until she was three, Lina (now nine), cheerfully played with friends. Then, after receiving her second MMR vaccine, she experienced a seizure and was diagnosed with the Epstein-Barr virus. How that relates to Lina's autism is left in question. Over the years, the family moves often, trying to find better neighborhoods and schools for Lina, whose behavior includes hitting, biting, peeing on the floor, and trying to run away. Strangers can be alarmingly judgmental and unsympathetic. The family tries everything, including acupuncture, herbal remedies, and dietary changes, while Hjalmarsson remains remarkably positive. She taught me to take life as it is, she writes. She showed me how to be happy and laughing in the midst of sorrow and loss. A passionate book for families with special-needs children.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2013, American Library Association.)