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The Valedictorian of Being Dead

The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
From New York Times bestselling author and blogger Heather B. Armstrong comes an honest and irreverent memoir—reminiscent of the New York Times bestseller Brain on Fire—about her experience as the third person ever to participate in an experimental treatment for depression involving ten rounds of a chemically induced coma approximating brain death.
For years, Heather B. Armstrong has alluded to her struggle with depression on her website, dooce. It's scattered throughout her archive, where it weaves its way through posts about pop culture, music, and motherhood. In 2016, Heather found herself in the depths of a depression she just couldn't shake, an episode darker and longer than anything she had previously experienced. She had never felt so discouraged by the thought of waking up in the morning, and it threatened to destroy her life. For the sake of herself and her family, Heather decided to risk it all by participating in an experimental clinical trial.

Now, for the first time, Heather recalls the torturous eighteen months of suicidal depression she endured and the month-long experimental study in which doctors used propofol anesthesia to quiet all brain activity for a full fifteen minutes before bringing her back from a flatline. Ten times. The experience wasn't easy. Not for Heather or her family. But a switch was flipped, and Heather hasn't experienced a single moment of suicidal depression since.

"Breathtakingly honest" (Lisa Genova, New York Times bestselling author), self-deprecating, and scientifically fascinating, The Valedictorian of Being Dead brings to light a groundbreaking new treatment for depression.

The Valedictorian of Being Dead was previously published with the subtitle "The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live."
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    • Kirkus

      March 15, 2019
      The candid self-portrait of a woman who, years deep in depression's clutches, mustered the courage to live again by way of dying.In her third book, acclaimed "mommy blogger" Armstrong (Dear Daughter: The Best of the Dear Leta Letters, 2012, etc.), the founder of the popular website dooce, tells the intriguing story of how she was put into a coma 10 times as part of a controversial experimental procedure to overcome severe clinical depression. In a narrative that is part cathartic confessional, part apology to those who stood by her through years of anguish and recovery, and part accessible explanation of a highly scientific procedure, the author takes readers on a room-by-room tour of events leading to the treatment that finally helped her overcome her depression. "I'd been almost brain-dead for fifteen minutes," she writes of the first session. "I felt fantastic! When you want to be dead, there's nothing quite like being dead. And boy, did I do dead well." Chronicling how the anesthesiologists used propofol ("the Michael Jackson drug") to induce the coma, the author writes that "the study is designed to determine if 'burst suppression'--quieting the brain's electrical activity--can alleviate the symptoms of depression." Later, she continues, "it's like rebooting a computer. Anyone who has ever had problems with a computer knows that sometimes you have to turn it on and off again several times to fix whatever glitch was causing all your applications to crash." Instead of detailing the personal hells of the glitch itself, Armstrong tactfully walks around it, poring over past failed therapies. She provides an experiential blow-by-blow chronicle of the test study, its effects on her daily life, the progressive improvement of her condition, and the reactions of her daughters, unconditionally dedicated mother, and the team of specialists overseeing the closely monitored deaths and rebirths that ultimately led to her victory.An unvarnished account of a boundary-pushing procedure and patient.

      COPYRIGHT(2019) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Library Journal

      April 1, 2019

      Cohost of the Manic Rambling Spiral podcast Armstrong (It Sucked and Then I Cried) is no stranger to breathtaking honesty. Here, the author expands on periods of postpartum depression discussed on her popular blog, dooce.com, which documents the triumphs and failures of motherhood. She writes about undergoing an experimental procedure to treat a depressive episode and suicidal ideation; a process in which she's put into a medically-induced coma and is nearly brain-dead for a brief period of time. Armstrong also touches on what you can and can't talk to family about, as the procedure led her to develop a stronger connection with her mom and stepdad, while her dad and stepmom struggled to understand an already misunderstood illness. In an effort to end the stigma, Armstrong shares her family's history of depression and anxiety, and fear of losing custody of her daughters because of mental illness. Similar to her blog, her voice comes through as she talks about leaving the Mormon Church and the challenges of professional blogging. VERDICT Besides attracting Armstrong's already large audience, this moving read will draw in fans of memoirs.--Stephanie Sendaula, Library Journal

      Copyright 2019 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Booklist

      March 15, 2019
      In this revealing memoir, popular mommy blogger Armstrong shares her story of living with debilitating depression and the radical treatment she underwent to cure it. For years she controlled her depression with a mixture of prescriptions, but when their effects start fading, Armstrong experiences an 18-month period of deep depression fueled by suicidal thoughts. Scared of what will become of her and the possibility of losing custody of her daughters, Armstrong opts for a month-long experimental treatment. One of only 3 people participating, she receives 10 doctor-administered treatments, each of which induces a coma that leaves her brain-dead for a short period of time. Armstrong's detailed, honest, and conversational writing reads like a friend pouring her heart out, giving readers an emotional portrait of what it is like for individuals and their loved ones to struggle with serious depression. Her strong personality marks every page, and while she may not be for everyone, readers who enjoyed Brain on Fire (2012) by Susannah Cahalan and don't mind a less journalistic style should pick this up.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)

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